By Dawn M. Sanders
It’s the last day in May and summer solstice is well on its way – the height of both mine and the Pagan year. In this the last of my little series, I’m still a long way off keeping out the noise of my mind churning away when I’m trying to still, but the fact I have now made it a part of my end-of-week routine, feels like an accomplishment, not least because I’m not good at routine or too much structure.
This Sunday was blazing hot, even for me, originally from California and a sun lover. That said, after deciding to opt for the quayside instead of the beach yesterday, where I sat and had an ice cream before making my way down the stretch along the river Exe, kind of reflects this week’s theme for the meditation – choices.
Anyway, at just before 7 I got a cushion and small blanket to take out and sit on. The mowed scratchy, itchy grass with loose grass left behind wasn’t at all inviting to sit on. I went to the same spot as last time, only slightly more under the tree to get a bit more shade from the sun. The other saving grace from the blazing sun, was, the lovely gentle breeze and of course, the evening was cooling. Kicked off my sandals and settled in my space. This week there was no one else in the communal gardens – at least that I could hear.
Honing in on my breathing, I went again with the body scan technique, because I find it helps to focus and shut out the noise of the constant churning – mostly. So, walking through my body, starting with the soles of my feet, I progressed, but still with my wandering brain. I thought of an article I read weeks ago in the Guardian. ‘Why now’ I asked myself, I hadn’t thought of that one until now, so what the heck? I travelled up from my legs, clicky knees, stomach, hips. When I got to my face it was easier to focus on that, because the sun was right on it.
So, the theme, choices. It was mainly the choices one could make when someone upsets us or takes advantage of a misfortune. I have experienced that more than once in the last couple of weeks, so this week was about how we deal with the upsets etc. I had more or less moved on from my upsets, but not without the anger and bitter disappointment of the situation of prejudice I had encountered, as I wrote in last week’s blog.
I’m going to chase my bank about getting the money put back into my account that was stolen when I had my debit card nicked, because it needs rectifying, but I was less upset at that than I was the personal slight by a stranger over a few week’s phone conversation. I won’t even bother emphasising how prejudice or presumptions are still rife for those of us who are ‘different’ in some way – I’m not in the business of understatements! Awe well, not the kind of friend or potential friend I want anyway.
Back to the end of my meditation this week. I had in fact, made one important choice for the rest of the evening, as I need to get set for a new week, but that will stay my kept secret. As always, there was much to contemplate in sitting down to meditate. I think I could now take it further and start to meditate in the evening, well starting with 1 or 2 evenings a week. The idea of course, to focus on the day, help me chill, my mind to relieve itself of the clinging stresses of life, the isolation, dirty deeds done by dirty politicians, the state of the planet, never mind the state of my teeth – the mind really does boggle…