The Knowing

By Dawn M. Sanders

Today I’m reminded from my body and the calendar, of my age – a half a century plus 5 years.

My night’s slumber started early – it’s always supposed to just be a short nap, before stepping into the kitchen and figuring out what food I want to eat for dinner. But my body is tired, always ready for the night.  I lie there, awake as I feel it spreading throughout the inside of my person, like snake venom. From my ankles, up to my knees, my lower back – right up to my arms, which click into place when I move or wake up and this morning I awoke with a start, clicking into place.

As I stand upon the landing, poised for the great and definite descend, the spaces on life’s great staircase become darker, full of shadows closing in…

In a world which has entered a darkening century – precariously balanced on the precipice of the abyss – the great expanse of the unknown, uncharted, my body cries out in pain! With a belly full of fire, a head full of half-plans and budding ideas, my fingers, my torso, becomes more stiff, rigid, and fragile by the day, while my mind becomes stronger.

My battles are many; liberating my child, toting principles, and convictions in a world where lies are okay, but truth is not. I rarely follow the herd, so is there a place for we the objectors out in the wilderness, on the margins – out to pasture? For those of us who follow the light, the dark is both threatening and threatened.

The future is a different world – this one is dying, but there will be survivors – soothsayers who warn to deaf ears, to those who choose to follow the heard, led by deceivers, deviants, and psychopaths…

I could lose my life tomorrow and my great descend, disappears or is taken from me. It could be from the outside world of a knife-wielding nutter – an angry, crazed young man. It could even be from inside my own fledgling body, where the snake venom swallows up my bones, my insides- but I have will, I have fight!

I have ‘will’ on my side and my will is the strong wind of the Atlantic storm. My will to survive, the pain, the darkness of the world; is the deep-running Piscean waters of my sun and my Gemini, as wise as Rhiannon and the  guiding full moon.

For those of us who don’t follow the herd; we are shunned, disempowered and silenced by leaders and followers. But, in choosing wisdom, following the light, guided by intuition, consciousness and enlightened minds – me and my fellow survivors ‘will prevail’ because power is truth, power is ours, power is knowing.